


If you need to ask, you’re doing it wrong

by Narkito



Series: It popped in my inbox: Prompts [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Roughhousing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 03:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12998409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narkito/pseuds/Narkito
Summary: Steve forgets that every now and then, Danny is no help at all.





	If you need to ask, you’re doing it wrong

**Author's Note:**

> For [Ilmare_Ilse](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilmare_Ilse/), who always plays with me even though we should be working =P

_“Whatcha doing, babe?”_

He doesn't hear him come in and by the time he manages to close the tabs, he’s already flushed to the root of his hair in embarrassment.

“Nothing,” Steve chokes out, very determinedly not turning around.

Danny snorts and pushes past him to the keyboard of his computer, tapping a few commands and—

“Whoa! How did you that?! _Don’t—Danno!_ ” Danny does a complicated movement with his body and sends him reeling to the far end of the office, chair and all.

Steve really hopes Danny’s knee keeps him awake tonight for this treason.

“Kono taught me this shortcut, now let’s see… _Oh. My. God._ My _eyes_ , Steven, _Jesus_. This should come with a warning!” Danny yelps, getting closer to the screen and gobbling up every word in there.

“It’s not what you think!” He rushes to the other side of the desk and snaps the laptop closed an inch from Danny’s nose and then holds it close to his chest.

“ _Steven J McGarrett_ ,” Danny exclaims, hands doing wild pirouettes in the air, “are you sexting during office hours?” His voice does that cartoonish upper register at the end as he runs out of air.

Steve groans and covers his face with the laptop.

“I’m not sexting!!” He denies, cringing at his own volume. He quickly checks through the glass the perimeter of his office, in case someone heard. “I’m not sexting, Daniel,” he hisses this time, making sure he won’t be heard on the other side of HQ.

Danny snorts an ugly laugh and doubles over doing something close to subsonic noises, hanging on the edge of the desk.

“No, buddy, I agree with you,” Danny snickers in between laughs and mostly out of breath, “you were not sexting, you weren’t even trying.”

Steve scowls.

“What do _you_ know about sexting, anyway?” He argues back, obviously offended, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to admit it out loud to Danny.

Danny’s about to respond, catching his breath, when Steve’s phone—which of course isn’t in his pocket where it belongs, but over the desk, near Danny—chimes with a new message. And the scene dissolves into very creative fighting techniques he hasn’t utilised since he was twelve and trying to avoid getting his arse whooped by his sister. Then Danny does something that gets them to the floor, the phone skitters to a corner and Steve all but steps over Danny’s chest to get to it first.

Danny taps his ankle and successfully tips him over to the side, making him lose his balance and a precious second, and because the universe hates Steve, Danny manages to unlock the screen, even with Steve’s arm around his neck.

“OH. _MY_. GOD,” Danny wheezes, tapping Steve in the arm for him to loosen it, but still too involved in reading his private messages.

“THIS IS NOT FUNNY!” Steve bellows, reddening once again all the way to his chest, but giving Danny a bit more of breathing room, he wants him neutralised not _neutralised._

“No, no, Steven,” he snickers, taking big gulps of air, “but this is the funniest shit I’ve ever heard!” And then Danny hooks his foot around Steve’s calf and the positions are reversed and Steve is pinned to the ground, one arm bent precariously behind his back and Danny reading over his shoulder the rest of the messages. “Oh, oh, oh, please, please, I need to save this for later, oh, my god, _oh my god_. Steve, babe, this is awful!!! She texted you ice emoticons, man. _Ice!_ ”

Steve surrenders and thumps his head against the floor. “I don’t know how it works, okay? I don’t understand it.”

“It’s all good, babe, we all know your nickname in the SEALs was ironic,” Danny, _the fucker_ , pats him on the head. He groans in response.

Danny pats him one more time, and then leaves the phone by Steve’s side and pulls him to his feet in one fell swoop.

“C’mon,” he swats at him at chest level, “I’ll show you how it’s done, we can still salvage this, but first, I’m gonna need the computer to look up cute penguins.”

Steve feels discombobulated as Danny exits his office. Not knowing what to do, and wanting to yell a dozen things behind him as he leaves, but not being able to choose one, he ends up saying nothing, except that when he looks down to retrieve his phone he realises Danny took it after all, and the little shit is barricading himself into Kono’s office as she scrolls through Steve’s phone.

Oh, now it’s _on_ _!_


End file.
